Show Me Your Chin - II

This Wednesday morning when I woke up groggy-eyed and upset about the prospects of a long day at work, I didn't expect to see this on the front page of The Hindu.

Arunima Sinha with India & Tata Steel's flags on the Everest

It was just too overwhelming. Imagine yourself being thrown out of a train during an armed robbery. As you are flung in the air, you hit the bogie of a train coming in from the opposite direction on the adjacent track. With the impact, your left leg comes under the wheels of one of the trains (you don't know which one because you are too numb to comprehend). Finally, when the trains have gone, you find your left leg hanging out of your jeans below the knee. You then touch your right leg to find broken bones poking out of everywhere. Your spinal cord feels like shattered glass. You can't move one inch. You cry for help, but its miles and miles of tracks amidst empty fields. Every half hour trains pass within inches of you and rattle you body and spirit. Rodents start coming out from the burrows; the smell of your blood and flesh is all around.

Now imagine yourself scaling Mt. Everest just two years later. You are the first amputee in India to do it, and the first female one at that in the entire world. Come on, if Arunima can actually do it, you can at least imagine it, right?? 

When I met Arunima in Uttarkashi last year, she really didn't look like someone who would be able to win Everest so soon. She walked with a lot of effort. Climbing was tough, and she had a considerable discomfort at all times. I had written this piece about her back then - (http://igavemybest.blogspot.in/2012/04/1st-row-from-left-ashish-singhania.html) I had lauded her determination and spirit. I had prayed for her. Yes, she had a big heart. But, I had thought getting to Everest would be almost impossible. But like the entire nation, how I was proven wrong. I was left awe-struck and teary-eyed on that Wednesday morning. 

So after I get to know of her feat, I reminisce the interaction I had with her outside our tent during the trek last year. I also call up all my friends who were there in the trek. We are all very happy for her. How often do you get to share tents and have dinner with real life heroes??. 

On retrospect, there is one thing which makes me feel slightly upset about the entire episode. Its just that one minor thing, Something that doesn't matter much, but remains at the back of your mind and doesn't let you cherish something as much as would like to. That one thing is this picture of Arunima with us.

Where Am I? :-( 

I still curse my decision of being the photographer for this pic. In fact, I still lament being the designated photographer for the entire trip. There are so few pics of me for the entire trek!! But I mostly regret not having Arunima and me in one frame. Why didn't I take a selfie with her?? :P

Here her awesome speech here :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mIIxU3gI4c
  

Love.Joints.Life.

That Friday finished it off. He had gone to meet her at the university. He wanted to see if there was something in her eyes- some kind of a spark or emotion which would reassure him that yes, there was still some hope left.

He was looking for some kohl on her eyes and gloss on her lips, some perfume on her body which would have indicated to him that his arrival was still welcome. But he received the same arrogance from her; the same looks of I-am-so-much-superior-than-you-moron and the as-usual I-was-so-busy banter.

Back in the train he knew that he had been mistaken in trying to look out for love. He shouldn't have fallen for her. He let his emotions go uncontrolled this time, the only time in his life-and he suffered heavily for it.

He felt pain. He felt even more depressed; alone. Barring his parents whom he lost when he was eight; and a few college friends now far away, he had not had anyone close to him-or even nearby, semi-close. That is why his heart had been so desperate and- disobedient.

He needed an antidote. A painkiller of sorts. He puffed away on the joint he had brought from home. He felt better. The drug filled his heart, drove away love, pain, jealousy and longing.

He realized that this trip hadn't entirely been a failure. The state of uncertainty over his relationship with her was killing him. Now he knew that requests from the heart were to be left unanswered. Now he knew that he was staring at defeat from the very first day.

He walks to the lavatory. Apart from the expletives that can be found written on the walls of any Indian train's 3rd class compartment, he finds at the corner written in dark red, by some crazy literature enthusiast:

We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and-in spite of True Romance magazines-we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company; we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely-at least, not all the time-but essentially, and finally alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness. -Hunter S Thompson

He lights his second 'madman' joint.  

Office Office - I

My juniors and my siblings in their final years of college don't leave an opportunity to ask me about my new life. My life in Tata Steel and my roles, responsibilities and challenges involved. They also seek advices and tips which would help them out once they enter a corporate setting.

I tell them a lot of stories and give them plenty of fundas. What I don't tell them is that on some days,  I get into a similar kind of situation.-

 Or that sometimes, this is all I do-

Not to mention my activities during important meetings-

But jokes apart, there are some fundamental rules and values by which one must conduct oneself at his/her workplace. I am trying, I must admit, with tremendous effort, to regularize some of these in my everyday activities. I have learned some of them the hard way and am listing them down for my peers and juniors; those who are new to a work environment.

Many self-help books and performance-enhancing guides may also have similar articles. But this list is my own; from what I have learnt in the last 12 months. Also, barring a few, I don't have a clue as to how i would be able to pick up these traits.-

• The Fundamental Rule. Keep your eyes and ears open, and your mouth shut. Your work should speak about you and not the other way round.  
• Try to learn as much as possible. There are lessons hidden everywhere. 
• Never try to belittle anyone or hurt his/her feelings. Whether it’s your unit head or even the office sweeper. No one forgets an insult. Ever.
• Be careful about whatever you say. Everyone notes those extra As and Bs you are dropping around. 
• Be on time. Its importance can never be over-emphasized
• 'If you have ego and anger on your side you don't need an opponent'. - Harsha Bhogle 
• Never ever lie. Sooner or later, everyone gets to knows everything that is happening.
• For all those manufacturing/process-industry guys, spend lesser time in front of the computer and more time on the shop floor. Your payslip is being processed there.
• Sharp observations. Invest in this skill. Often the game-changer.
• At times, share a joke with your workers. Sit down on the shop floor with them. Offer them a smoke. Have rum with them on their daughters' marriages.
• Be ethical. Life is a fairly long journey.Your unfair/immoral practices are going to catch up with you sooner or later.
• Be the first one to admit a mistake. People forget the mistakes you make, they don't forget that you give shitty excuses for them. 
• Never gossip about others. It is the habit of fragile men.
• Appreciate your subordinates' work even if there are a million flaws. Then politely but elaborately, list down their mistakes. Don't let their shortcomings go unattended.
• At times of crisis, try to stand up and deliver. That's when one earns recognition and respect.

Finally, the most important one-

•  It takes years to build a reputation; just one moment to squander it away.

And if someone can follow all these tenets, he will surely be very productive.-

Credits: Scott Adams

Show Me Your Chin

En-route Morsana camp. Around 6000 ft.
1st row from left: Ashish Singhania, Rupesh Kumar
2nd row: Digvijay Gupta, Subhendu Barik, Vaibhav Misra, Arunima Sinha, Rajender Rawat, Charanjiv Mohanty
Pic taken by: Souvik Chatterjee

Trekking in the mountains at 6000 Feet is tough. Back-breaking in fact. Extremely taxing on the body; and if there are contoural dangers present; strenuous for the mind as well. We weren't entirely prepared for this. And one hour since we started, we felt our morale dropping. The shoulders started sagging, we took frequent rests, and there was a lot of bickering in our 8-membered team.

We stopped again to take a breath. The instructor, Rajendra Singh Rawat, a mountaineer himself, is angry.

"Do you recognise her?" he asks, pointing at a girl of about 24 who had accompanied us since we left our base-camp an hour ago. I stood aside to let her pass by as I took a closer look at her. She was a pleasant-looking girl, had a friendly gleam in her eyes, walked with a limp, walked slower than the others and seemed to have a very strong chin, something that comes from sheer determination. All this I knew, but I couldn't identify her. She wasn't one of the locals either.

The instructor grumbled, "She doesn't have a leg, has a rod inserted in the other, has spinal complications and has recovered from a life-shattering accident last year. She has started training in the mountains since February. Can't you pick up a lesson from her??"

We were stunned to hear this. No one said a word till we reached our camp at Morsona at 7500 Feet .

By then I had recalled all about her. She was in the news last summer. Arunima Sinha, a national-level volleyball and football player who lost her leg when a train ran over her after she was pushed out of a moving train by some robbers near Bareilly on the night of April 11, 2011. She had resisted a robbery attempt on her. Her left leg was amputated twice, her right leg had compound fractures, there were multiple fractures in the spine and in the pelvic region. She was able to stand on her feet after 96 days.

After we had pitched our tents at Morsona, I get an opportunity to interact with he.

She tells me that its not her amputated leg that troubles her, but the right one with a rod inserted in it. She has acute back pain if her rucksack is too heavy, and has to take frequent halts. She wants to conquer Mt. Everest and these treks that she undertakes with Tata Steel Adventure Foundation (a department of Tata Steel that solely looks after adventure sports for Tata Steel's employees) are training sessions for her. If her body permits, she will make an attempt to scale Everest this summer itself. 

She is a sweet girl, gentle. Speaks freely, in an uninhibited manner. Shows no arrogance, pride, complacence that sports persons tend to have. But there is that strong chin. That determination. The obstinacy.

She has only one complaint. It is about the local media. They tend to follow her everywhere, take videos of her, write reports about her. It distracts her. "Abhi to main kuchh ki bhi nahi hoon aur ye log aisa kar rahe hain... Ye sab ye tab karein jab main Everest ke liye chadhungi... Abhi to sirf practice hi hai... "

"I didn't step into mountaineering for money or publicity. I just couldn't have sat idle after that accident. I wanted to pursue my passion in sports, in adventures. I also wanted to prove that disability can be overcome if you have the belief and passion." She adds before leaving for her tent.

Dusk sets in. So does cold; inside the shirt, shoes and under the skin; tries to touch the heart. I try to grasp the fundamentals of what she had said. Life is tough, has always been; whether in the mountains or in the plains. But, the choices one makes, and the way one conducts oneself to go for his choices are what matter in the end.

I go back to my tent and ask my team mates to read my chin. The stubble, a full growth of a week now, hides the determination part. :P

Post Script:

At times one faces 'moments of truth' in life. Situations which are difficult to tackle. Challenges which are insurmountable, so much so, that the heart asks one to back away. It says that this is too difficult. Impossible. Not worth the trouble.

But that is when the mind takes over. The person grits his teeth, hardens his shaking knees, takes a deep breath, closes his eyes; and jumps into the situation. He takes the challenge head-on. He gives a fight.

You have got to give a fight, whatever the situation. This is one of the major learnings I had in this Adventure Programme I paricipated in. Seems easier written than done though. :-)

Below are some attachments about Arunima Singh and her accident in April, 2011.

File pic.- In AIIMS. April, 2011

A video that contains the entire story as well as an interview of hers.

The Journey so Far

First Day First Show. 1st July, 2011. Jamshedpur

So here we are again. Six months into Tata Steel and I am out of probation period. So technically speaking, unless someone in the organization places charges of sexual harassment against me, I feel I can take my position for granted. :P

But things have been strange. And in the last few months, there have been phases of absolute elation to utter despondency. The former a rarer emotion now; I have been forced to ask myself copy-book questions from job-search portals. Questions like- 'Am I really doing what I really wanted to do? Is this the way I had hoped it would turn out'??- to note a few.

Just wondering if all this is super idiotic and that every graduate new into a job does go through some kind of turbulence.
 
But yes, the fact that these questions are rearing their heads at this juncture is something I hadn't anticipated at all. And I have at times wondered whether I made a mistake by not opting for the other company I was placed in.

Don't want to take anything away from Tata Steel though. It's a great organization and administered at all levels by engineers from reputed institutes. Engineers who, just like me, have joined at the Graduate level and have then gone on to make it big. It is a great place to start and learn, and people here emphasize enormously on training and grooming. Tell me an other organization which spends around 13-15 lacs per head on its GETs in the first year of training and does not expect a single paisa in return.

But I have other issues. Submerged Arc Furnaces don't evoke the same kind of passion as Blast Furnaces did. Joda is no match for Jamshedpur. And I hadn't really imagined that I would have to move into a completely different segment of Metallurgy.

So the improvisation.

MBA Entrance Examination sheets are being solved. Parties and happy hours are being skipped. Alcohol consumption has been cut down entirely. 'BC' with friends has been decreased to the least acceptable level.  Instances of money splurging in this month so far: 0.

The trend is pretty similar though.

When I was in my 11th & 12th, all I wanted to do was bunk classes at school and prepare for IIT-JEE. In my engineering days, co-curricular and cultural activities attracted me much more than hard core Metallurgy did. Blast Furnace was a rare exception. Here again, Quant and Verbal Ability seem to have won the fight for the numero uno spot on my priority list. Poor FeMn furnaces have an Asst. Manager to turn to.

When would I have that phase in life when I would solely enjoy my core activity and not look for other 'fringe' interests?

My eccentricities notwithstanding, I do love Tata Steel. I love it very much.





 

Her Town

 

He keeps on calling it 'her town' (uska shehar). Never does he address the town by its name, in private or in public. "It was raining in her town yesterday" or "I was meeting a sales team in her town last month", is what he says. His friends don't consider it eccentric anymore. They know him. They don't blame him.

A major part of his work is associated with 'her town' and he goes there often to attend seminars, training sessions and meetings. He longs to be in her town, where she is a professor at the university and lives alone in a one bedroom flat; having broken off a live-in relationship with one of her colleagues two years back.

She is an old acquaintance of his, a batch mate, from college. They were strongly attracted towards each other then, but nothing concrete came out of it. He blames himself for it. He was too immature then, too moody, indifferent. Life doesn't give you second chances. Ever.

But he isn't entirely disillusioned or disgruntled with life. A small part of him is happy. Happy to be somewhere in the radar of her life. That somewhere, is being able to visit her town a couple of times in a month, being able to breathe the same air that she breathes in, visit shops she probably buys her groceries from.

There are talks that she has gone to Mumbai for a new job. He has mixed emotions about this. The additional physical distance will now hurt him. But now, he knows, he wouldn't have to worry about accidentally meeting her on a bus, at a restaurant or at the university. 

He hopes that one day he might move in permanently to 'her town', maybe work in the same locality where she worked, live in the same housing colony, visit the same parks. These are the only things he expects from her - the air that she took in, water from the same supply, autos that she traveled in, theaters she visited, local news from local dailies.

By having 'her town', he knows; he has her.

Vast Plains

Over the Chhattisgarh plains, the narrow meter-gauge line of railway formed the connecting link with the outside world, the world of motor cars, of aviation and of telephone. Glistening like a steel ribbon ran the line. It passed by little tile-roofed villages, each clustering around its temple, brown and grey villages and remote settlements, where a sandy unpaved street traversed between the fields of rice until it lost itself in the great plain. Habitations only joined to one another by a narrow track meandering through the corn fields, passing around stony hills and running across forests until it would hit a obstruction in the form of a stream.

Often in dark the villages seemed like cluster of bulbs all floating in the air, the appearance produced by numerous lanterns which stood hanging outside their homes keeping the darkness and evil spirits at bay.

The train jogged on passing by Araku, Jaygarh and other little halts, where no one could have possibly got in or out since first the line was laid. These stations had one thing common- a worn out, haggard looking old man who was the station master, the ticket checker, the announcer, the porter who seemed to have no hassles about his work at all. Mostly dogs littered on the platform and slept on the benches made for men. The taps were dropless and ticket counters looked like no ticket had ever passed between their grills. A lone haggard-looking man smoked from chillam.

Such were the stations, mere islands in a sea of green, each one a mere carbon copy of another. I waited for my designated station to come by. My earlier posting at Jagdalpur had not been very daunting but this one at 200 miles further interior in the heartland of naxal activity would surely be nerve wrecking.

It was approaching twilight now. The faces of all the police officers who had been slain by the red brigade flashed in my mind. But I would not give up, I decided. I had always enjoyed adversity and this would be no different. I took a swig from my hip flask.

Lonely..

He felt devastated. This couldn't have happened. He couldn't have lost his soul mate-his best friend-someone who had been with him since he was 15.

Those stupid doctors, he thought. Bastards. Couldn't they have done something?? Wasn't there any other way out?? How dare they leave him alone and isolated in this world??

The pain in his abdomen is more severe now. He needs a glass of water. He goes to his personal bar in the drawing room and takes out a bottle from the freezer. It was in this bar that he and his dear friend had spent all their evenings. They had shared their lives-their joys, sorrows, eccentricities; all here.

But the bar is empty today. His only friend and companion-the monk-the Old Monk Rum is gone. The doctors have taken him away and have 'barred' him from having even a drop of alcohol. His liver has become the size of a football.

The doctors don't think that he has got more than six months left in him now. This fact makes him feel suicidal.

He kneels down to pray-something he hasn't done for as long as he can remember. It's time now to be friends with God.

                                               "Something sinister in the tone
                                                Told my secret must be known;
                                                Word I was in the house alone
                                                Somehow must have gotten abroad,
                                                Word I was in my life alone,
                                                Word I had no one left but God."
                                                                                                         -Robert Frost

Looking Back Part-II: 10 Pointers.

I am sitting in the common room of the GT Hostel, Tata Steel, Jamshedpur. All around me are my new ‘colleagues’, fresh graduates from other colleges. They are all sitting in groups, talking animatedly, and as I strain my ears, I hear them reminiscing about their college days - about their hostels, gyms, mid-sems & heart-breaks. My thoughts instantly go back to my college days and I realize that many of our memories were based on similar things – friends, bikes, places, girls and of course, alcohol.

Then I jotted down 10 ‘pointers’ which are closest to my heart. It’s not like – “I miss you so much” kind of thing, but during certain instances and circumstances, the memory tapes play out in front of my eyes, and I, unknowingly, bask in their glory.

1. Dhabas: We made lot of trips to the dhabas in and around Raipur during our 4^th year of engineering. A particular favourite was ‘Apna Dhaba’, situated 6 kms away from our hostel on the Raipuir-Bhilai Highway. And as soon as someone got placed, or if there was a birthday, chalo be chalte hain. So, on our scooters and bikes and stopping at the ashram (:P) on the way, we roared to the dhabas. It was always a challenge riding back, heavily drunk and all, but then that was fun as well.

Apna Dhaba

2. Ragging: The events related to ragging, whether you are a victim or the culprit, always remain etched in your memory. No one forgets the first ragging he encountered or the first student he bullied. During our first year, we huddled quietly in our rooms and waited for the clock to strike 10 p.m. It would then be time for the knocks on the doors and high drama unfolded throughout the night. During our second year, we tried to hand over the legacy to our juniors, so to say. Memories related to ragging are always special and bring back mixed emotions.

3. Hostel Parties: 'Saturday-night-party-tight' was our motto. And what with tandoori chicken and rum and beer, followed by a lot of singing and dancing, we often ran short of Saturdays. I miss those parties, period. 

4. F-36: This was our class room (First floor, Room no.-36) for three out of four years at NIT Raipur. This was a small-sized room and ideal for our small batch of 42. Whenever I think of it, I can pinpoint exactly that on any day who would be sitting where and doing what. There weren’t any air conditioners, projectors and stuff, but who needed those things??.

F-36. Are they studying?? :P

5. Sunday-Special: I eat specials almost everyday now, but those Sunday Specials at the mess in the hostel were absolutely super-special. It was a special lunch served on Sundays consisting of a chicken dish for non vegetarians and paneer for vegetarians with puri, fried rice and sweets. We ate like anything. In fact, what a sight it was - 100-150 hungry students sitting next to each other, sweating in the hot stuffy mess, gnawing at chicken bones.

Mess, Hostel-B, An engrossed audience.

6. Class Tests: We had regular class tests, which were aimed at preparing us for the very important end sem exams. I wonder whether that purpose was ever accomplished. However, one thing was sure; they offered us exposure in team work, ingenuity improvisation. Need I explain more?


7. Mera Bajaj: Oh boy! Do I miss this thing? My heart aches for my scooter. It was a Bajaj Super, 1995 model which I purchased second hand at the beginning of my 3^rd year. It was my best buddy and as reliable a friend can be. 

Bajaj Super. Pic taken on last day in Raipur. 8th May, 2011

8. Ashram: Ashram was a misnomer to us. Really. It was a locality, just a couple of kilometers away from our hostel. It had its name due to the famous Ramakrishna Ashram situated there. However, for us, it was a very important place. It housed the biggest liquor shops in Raipur. Thus we made regular visits to the place in quest of a spiritually satisfying life :D.


9. Kota: Kota is a small locality just outside the Western boundary on the other side of the Mum-Hwh Railway Line. It was our second home in Raipur. Whenever we needed something, we went to Kota, crossing the tracks, the Saraswati Nagar Railway Station and the wayside Egg Roll Stalls. From photocopying to samosas to boiled eggs, everything was available. Not to mention the delicious dosas which were available in the mornings at the South Indian stall. Though it was a shanty, poor locality; it meant the world to us.

10. For the tenth pointer, I am not providing any sub heading. It’s just this picture. The characters in this pic were the ones who made life worth living out there. And it is for them that life is still worth living .

Pankaj Yadav & Shriprakash Bharti. 3rd year, Hostel-A

Looking Back Part-I: Placements

JSPL Campus. 27th November, 2011

The underlining principle of Engineering, or for that matter any other professional course is the placements involved with it and after 4 long, hard years at NIT Raipur, one does really expect to be placed at a great company. This is how the placement scenario of our batch, which passes out in a couple of weeks time, looks like.

I was extremely fortunate to have been a part of this placement process and there is simply no doubt in my mind that my association with the Placement Cell as a representative of my branch was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life.

My two years of hectic but highly enriching and gratifying stint as a Placement Coordinator comes down to this list.

Metallurgy, 2011 (Total Strength : 42)

1. ArcelorMittal Dhamm Processing. Date: 10th September, 2010

• Dhivya Raghavan

2. Tata Steel. Date:  26th September, 2010(Written Test), 21st October(Interviews)

• Subhendu Barik
• Souvik Chatterjee

3. Jindal Steel & Power Ltd. Date: 27th November, 2010

• Manish Kumar Nihichlani
• Md. Dilkash Azam
• Prasenjit Sarkar
• Suyash Dhar Diwan
• Rahul Sippy
• Bhupendra Kumar Sahu
• Wasif Hussain Khan

4. Cognizant Technology Solutions. Date: 1st December, 2010

• Himanshu Saha
• M. Poshit Nag

5. Ispat Industries. Date : 10th December, 2010

• Vishal Soni
• Rakesh Gunjan
• Vijay Hajare
• Avinash Giri

6. Capgemini. Date : 27th December, 2010

• Md. Usman Khan

7. TVS Motors. Date : 28th December, 2010(Written Test), 12th January, 2011(Interviews)

• Piyush Chandrakar

8. Essar. Date : 4th & 5th January, 2011

• Palanivel Sivanesh
• Saroj Kr. Katyayan
• Saurabh Chandrakar
• Raj Mishra
• Sudhaanshu Tanti
• Deepak Sahu
• Mukesh Sirmour
• Akshay Shingweker

9. Accenture Services Pvt. Ltd. Date : 11th January, 2011

• Manvizhi.V

10. Monnet Group. Date : 18th January, 2011

• Sourav Kr. Panda
• Anirruddha Malakar
• Pradeep Pal
• Ankita Khare

11. Jindal South West Steel. Date : 15th March, 2011 (Interviews at company location, Tornagallu)

• Senthil Nadar
• Nikhil Bhuarya
• Teekam Gunendra
• Bhupendra Dewangan
• Rajeev Sahu

12. Sunflag Iron & Steel Company. Date : 7th April, 2011

• Vijay Verma

13. Bhushan Power & Steel Ltd. is scheduled in the 1st week of May.