The Journey so Far

First Day First Show. 1st July, 2011. Jamshedpur

So here we are again. Six months into Tata Steel and I am out of probation period. So technically speaking, unless someone in the organization places charges of sexual harassment against me, I feel I can take my position for granted. :P

But things have been strange. And in the last few months, there have been phases of absolute elation to utter despondency. The former a rarer emotion now; I have been forced to ask myself copy-book questions from job-search portals. Questions like- 'Am I really doing what I really wanted to do? Is this the way I had hoped it would turn out'??- to note a few.

Just wondering if all this is super idiotic and that every graduate new into a job does go through some kind of turbulence.
 
But yes, the fact that these questions are rearing their heads at this juncture is something I hadn't anticipated at all. And I have at times wondered whether I made a mistake by not opting for the other company I was placed in.

Don't want to take anything away from Tata Steel though. It's a great organization and administered at all levels by engineers from reputed institutes. Engineers who, just like me, have joined at the Graduate level and have then gone on to make it big. It is a great place to start and learn, and people here emphasize enormously on training and grooming. Tell me an other organization which spends around 13-15 lacs per head on its GETs in the first year of training and does not expect a single paisa in return.

But I have other issues. Submerged Arc Furnaces don't evoke the same kind of passion as Blast Furnaces did. Joda is no match for Jamshedpur. And I hadn't really imagined that I would have to move into a completely different segment of Metallurgy.

So the improvisation.

MBA Entrance Examination sheets are being solved. Parties and happy hours are being skipped. Alcohol consumption has been cut down entirely. 'BC' with friends has been decreased to the least acceptable level.  Instances of money splurging in this month so far: 0.

The trend is pretty similar though.

When I was in my 11th & 12th, all I wanted to do was bunk classes at school and prepare for IIT-JEE. In my engineering days, co-curricular and cultural activities attracted me much more than hard core Metallurgy did. Blast Furnace was a rare exception. Here again, Quant and Verbal Ability seem to have won the fight for the numero uno spot on my priority list. Poor FeMn furnaces have an Asst. Manager to turn to.

When would I have that phase in life when I would solely enjoy my core activity and not look for other 'fringe' interests?

My eccentricities notwithstanding, I do love Tata Steel. I love it very much.





 

Her Town

 

He keeps on calling it 'her town' (uska shehar). Never does he address the town by its name, in private or in public. "It was raining in her town yesterday" or "I was meeting a sales team in her town last month", is what he says. His friends don't consider it eccentric anymore. They know him. They don't blame him.

A major part of his work is associated with 'her town' and he goes there often to attend seminars, training sessions and meetings. He longs to be in her town, where she is a professor at the university and lives alone in a one bedroom flat; having broken off a live-in relationship with one of her colleagues two years back.

She is an old acquaintance of his, a batch mate, from college. They were strongly attracted towards each other then, but nothing concrete came out of it. He blames himself for it. He was too immature then, too moody, indifferent. Life doesn't give you second chances. Ever.

But he isn't entirely disillusioned or disgruntled with life. A small part of him is happy. Happy to be somewhere in the radar of her life. That somewhere, is being able to visit her town a couple of times in a month, being able to breathe the same air that she breathes in, visit shops she probably buys her groceries from.

There are talks that she has gone to Mumbai for a new job. He has mixed emotions about this. The additional physical distance will now hurt him. But now, he knows, he wouldn't have to worry about accidentally meeting her on a bus, at a restaurant or at the university. 

He hopes that one day he might move in permanently to 'her town', maybe work in the same locality where she worked, live in the same housing colony, visit the same parks. These are the only things he expects from her - the air that she took in, water from the same supply, autos that she traveled in, theaters she visited, local news from local dailies.

By having 'her town', he knows; he has her.

Vast Plains

Over the Chhattisgarh plains, the narrow meter-gauge line of railway formed the connecting link with the outside world, the world of motor cars, of aviation and of telephone. Glistening like a steel ribbon ran the line. It passed by little tile-roofed villages, each clustering around its temple, brown and grey villages and remote settlements, where a sandy unpaved street traversed between the fields of rice until it lost itself in the great plain. Habitations only joined to one another by a narrow track meandering through the corn fields, passing around stony hills and running across forests until it would hit a obstruction in the form of a stream.

Often in dark the villages seemed like cluster of bulbs all floating in the air, the appearance produced by numerous lanterns which stood hanging outside their homes keeping the darkness and evil spirits at bay.

The train jogged on passing by Araku, Jaygarh and other little halts, where no one could have possibly got in or out since first the line was laid. These stations had one thing common- a worn out, haggard looking old man who was the station master, the ticket checker, the announcer, the porter who seemed to have no hassles about his work at all. Mostly dogs littered on the platform and slept on the benches made for men. The taps were dropless and ticket counters looked like no ticket had ever passed between their grills. A lone haggard-looking man smoked from chillam.

Such were the stations, mere islands in a sea of green, each one a mere carbon copy of another. I waited for my designated station to come by. My earlier posting at Jagdalpur had not been very daunting but this one at 200 miles further interior in the heartland of naxal activity would surely be nerve wrecking.

It was approaching twilight now. The faces of all the police officers who had been slain by the red brigade flashed in my mind. But I would not give up, I decided. I had always enjoyed adversity and this would be no different. I took a swig from my hip flask.

Lonely..

He felt devastated. This couldn't have happened. He couldn't have lost his soul mate-his best friend-someone who had been with him since he was 15.

Those stupid doctors, he thought. Bastards. Couldn't they have done something?? Wasn't there any other way out?? How dare they leave him alone and isolated in this world??

The pain in his abdomen is more severe now. He needs a glass of water. He goes to his personal bar in the drawing room and takes out a bottle from the freezer. It was in this bar that he and his dear friend had spent all their evenings. They had shared their lives-their joys, sorrows, eccentricities; all here.

But the bar is empty today. His only friend and companion-the monk-the Old Monk Rum is gone. The doctors have taken him away and have 'barred' him from having even a drop of alcohol. His liver has become the size of a football.

The doctors don't think that he has got more than six months left in him now. This fact makes him feel suicidal.

He kneels down to pray-something he hasn't done for as long as he can remember. It's time now to be friends with God.

                                               "Something sinister in the tone
                                                Told my secret must be known;
                                                Word I was in the house alone
                                                Somehow must have gotten abroad,
                                                Word I was in my life alone,
                                                Word I had no one left but God."
                                                                                                         -Robert Frost

Looking Back Part-II: 10 Pointers.

I am sitting in the common room of the GT Hostel, Tata Steel, Jamshedpur. All around me are my new ‘colleagues’, fresh graduates from other colleges. They are all sitting in groups, talking animatedly, and as I strain my ears, I hear them reminiscing about their college days - about their hostels, gyms, mid-sems & heart-breaks. My thoughts instantly go back to my college days and I realize that many of our memories were based on similar things – friends, bikes, places, girls and of course, alcohol.

Then I jotted down 10 ‘pointers’ which are closest to my heart. It’s not like – “I miss you so much” kind of thing, but during certain instances and circumstances, the memory tapes play out in front of my eyes, and I, unknowingly, bask in their glory.

1. Dhabas: We made lot of trips to the dhabas in and around Raipur during our 4^th year of engineering. A particular favourite was ‘Apna Dhaba’, situated 6 kms away from our hostel on the Raipuir-Bhilai Highway. And as soon as someone got placed, or if there was a birthday, chalo be chalte hain. So, on our scooters and bikes and stopping at the ashram (:P) on the way, we roared to the dhabas. It was always a challenge riding back, heavily drunk and all, but then that was fun as well.

Apna Dhaba

2. Ragging: The events related to ragging, whether you are a victim or the culprit, always remain etched in your memory. No one forgets the first ragging he encountered or the first student he bullied. During our first year, we huddled quietly in our rooms and waited for the clock to strike 10 p.m. It would then be time for the knocks on the doors and high drama unfolded throughout the night. During our second year, we tried to hand over the legacy to our juniors, so to say. Memories related to ragging are always special and bring back mixed emotions.

3. Hostel Parties: 'Saturday-night-party-tight' was our motto. And what with tandoori chicken and rum and beer, followed by a lot of singing and dancing, we often ran short of Saturdays. I miss those parties, period. 

4. F-36: This was our class room (First floor, Room no.-36) for three out of four years at NIT Raipur. This was a small-sized room and ideal for our small batch of 42. Whenever I think of it, I can pinpoint exactly that on any day who would be sitting where and doing what. There weren’t any air conditioners, projectors and stuff, but who needed those things??.

F-36. Are they studying?? :P

5. Sunday-Special: I eat specials almost everyday now, but those Sunday Specials at the mess in the hostel were absolutely super-special. It was a special lunch served on Sundays consisting of a chicken dish for non vegetarians and paneer for vegetarians with puri, fried rice and sweets. We ate like anything. In fact, what a sight it was - 100-150 hungry students sitting next to each other, sweating in the hot stuffy mess, gnawing at chicken bones.

Mess, Hostel-B, An engrossed audience.

6. Class Tests: We had regular class tests, which were aimed at preparing us for the very important end sem exams. I wonder whether that purpose was ever accomplished. However, one thing was sure; they offered us exposure in team work, ingenuity improvisation. Need I explain more?


7. Mera Bajaj: Oh boy! Do I miss this thing? My heart aches for my scooter. It was a Bajaj Super, 1995 model which I purchased second hand at the beginning of my 3^rd year. It was my best buddy and as reliable a friend can be. 

Bajaj Super. Pic taken on last day in Raipur. 8th May, 2011

8. Ashram: Ashram was a misnomer to us. Really. It was a locality, just a couple of kilometers away from our hostel. It had its name due to the famous Ramakrishna Ashram situated there. However, for us, it was a very important place. It housed the biggest liquor shops in Raipur. Thus we made regular visits to the place in quest of a spiritually satisfying life :D.


9. Kota: Kota is a small locality just outside the Western boundary on the other side of the Mum-Hwh Railway Line. It was our second home in Raipur. Whenever we needed something, we went to Kota, crossing the tracks, the Saraswati Nagar Railway Station and the wayside Egg Roll Stalls. From photocopying to samosas to boiled eggs, everything was available. Not to mention the delicious dosas which were available in the mornings at the South Indian stall. Though it was a shanty, poor locality; it meant the world to us.

10. For the tenth pointer, I am not providing any sub heading. It’s just this picture. The characters in this pic were the ones who made life worth living out there. And it is for them that life is still worth living .

Pankaj Yadav & Shriprakash Bharti. 3rd year, Hostel-A

Looking Back Part-I: Placements

JSPL Campus. 27th November, 2011

The underlining principle of Engineering, or for that matter any other professional course is the placements involved with it and after 4 long, hard years at NIT Raipur, one does really expect to be placed at a great company. This is how the placement scenario of our batch, which passes out in a couple of weeks time, looks like.

I was extremely fortunate to have been a part of this placement process and there is simply no doubt in my mind that my association with the Placement Cell as a representative of my branch was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life.

My two years of hectic but highly enriching and gratifying stint as a Placement Coordinator comes down to this list.

Metallurgy, 2011 (Total Strength : 42)

1. ArcelorMittal Dhamm Processing. Date: 10th September, 2010

• Dhivya Raghavan

2. Tata Steel. Date:  26th September, 2010(Written Test), 21st October(Interviews)

• Subhendu Barik
• Souvik Chatterjee

3. Jindal Steel & Power Ltd. Date: 27th November, 2010

• Manish Kumar Nihichlani
• Md. Dilkash Azam
• Prasenjit Sarkar
• Suyash Dhar Diwan
• Rahul Sippy
• Bhupendra Kumar Sahu
• Wasif Hussain Khan

4. Cognizant Technology Solutions. Date: 1st December, 2010

• Himanshu Saha
• M. Poshit Nag

5. Ispat Industries. Date : 10th December, 2010

• Vishal Soni
• Rakesh Gunjan
• Vijay Hajare
• Avinash Giri

6. Capgemini. Date : 27th December, 2010

• Md. Usman Khan

7. TVS Motors. Date : 28th December, 2010(Written Test), 12th January, 2011(Interviews)

• Piyush Chandrakar

8. Essar. Date : 4th & 5th January, 2011

• Palanivel Sivanesh
• Saroj Kr. Katyayan
• Saurabh Chandrakar
• Raj Mishra
• Sudhaanshu Tanti
• Deepak Sahu
• Mukesh Sirmour
• Akshay Shingweker

9. Accenture Services Pvt. Ltd. Date : 11th January, 2011

• Manvizhi.V

10. Monnet Group. Date : 18th January, 2011

• Sourav Kr. Panda
• Anirruddha Malakar
• Pradeep Pal
• Ankita Khare

11. Jindal South West Steel. Date : 15th March, 2011 (Interviews at company location, Tornagallu)

• Senthil Nadar
• Nikhil Bhuarya
• Teekam Gunendra
• Bhupendra Dewangan
• Rajeev Sahu

12. Sunflag Iron & Steel Company. Date : 7th April, 2011

• Vijay Verma

13. Bhushan Power & Steel Ltd. is scheduled in the 1st week of May.

My Valentine's Day

" Why don't we go out and celebrate today? It is Valentine's day you know". My wife Lovely hinted for the 20th time. I wanted to remind her that Valentine's Day is for teenagers and young couples and not for half century makers like us. But seeing her indomitable spirit, i gave in and decided to take her to the famous City Mall 36.

My scooter initially protested the additional 85 kilos that were going to be loaded on it but somehow I was able to persuade it to take us safely to our destination.

Before entering the Mall I fed Lovely 4 samosas from the chatwalla so that she would not ask to be fed again inside the mall, where it was horrifyingly costly.

At the Mall, I felt more embarrassed then romantic, seeing couples half the age of ourselves enjoy themselves. However my wife seemed very upbeat and suggested that we should watch a movie.

I showed her the cheapest show available: Dracula-2.

After the movie, shaken and scared by the spine-chilling scenes, I suggested whether we should return, but Lovely wanted to be taken to a restaurant and she was very adamant. She said " I am starving ".

I repented the 20 rupees I had spent on her samosas.

In the restaurant now, it was dark, and couples were freely romanticizing....getting cozy and all.

In the bluish light, after we were seated at a table, I saw to my utter astonishment and joy, my parents-in-law seated at a nearby table getting real close and romantic. I wondered about their reserves of hormones and without wasting a second, shot some really 'good' photos of theirs on my mobile phone.

Now I would get back to them for all the atrocities they had committed on me; as well as the Hero Honda that I deserved 20 years back.

I kissed my wife's hand - " Happy Valentine's Day".

To The Brightest of NIT Raipur..

1st question : Don't have the slightest idea.

2nd question: Remembering something of the answer, but am not sure.... whether the answer is that... or that... or??? :P

3rd question: I think it is out of syllabus.

4th question: I think there is something missing in the question...

This was the status of almost all the 10 questions that stared at me from the question paper. I had known that this was going to happen with me today and had therefore taken proper care to wear my shoes and socks (to hide my micro photocopies...:D )

I started copying the answers now.

Only a person who has been under such a situation can understand the nightmare that one goes through. Each hair of your body seems to be jumping on its end and each nerve vibrates as it is about to give away. You feel like the invigilator is looking at you from the corner of his eyes all the time and will catch you any moment now.... however i kept my resources of confidence and courage intact as i copied at a feverish pace.

Luck always fails me in tense situations and lady luck betrayed me once again when I saw Mr. Bajumdar and Mr. Bansal, two of the most dreaded flying squad profs entering the exam hall.

I tried to keep my body calm and my face expressionless but i am no actor and the two experienced fellows immediately caught me red handed at my job.

The moment was humiliating and painful beyond words. I had once been asked an eyesight certificate at the college and the 6/6 written on it started floating in front of my eyes.....(backlogs). I wanted to run away..... jump out of the window beside my seat.

"Why are you sleeping? Don't you want to submit your paper and go home?"The invigilator shook me up from my deep slumber.

I handed him the 2 marks worth answer sheet and said a silent prayer to God.......1/6 is always better than 6/6. (Arrears. :P)

Me & My Scooter...

She smiled.....I smiled.

Her beautiful face a bit annoyed, mine a bit apologetic and embarrassed. This had been my 30th kick but the scooter still hadn't shown any response, and it was with an extremely brave and resilient heart that I was still able to look up at the face of my new girlfriend.

She did not smile.....I smiled.

Her face was growing cold and angry now. Mine looking more pitiful, helpless and ashamed as ever. I had kicked it 50 times by now and slowly my friends and fellow students gathering around had started to make a mockery of us, joking and laughing from a distance. By now i had started planning to abandon both my scooter and my girlfriend and run away to some dark and isolated corner where no one would be able to see me....

She smiled.....I did not, could not smile.

Pride, self importance, ego, showed on her face. Mine showed tragedy, disaster. I had no strength left to kick now, and with a bleeding heart, I saw my biggest rival Pankaj come in with his Karizma, offer her lift and zoom away with her; leaving behind a cloud of smoke for me to hide myself.

He drove her to Cafe Coffee Day and I, after the smoke had subsided, with a broken heart and a bruised ego, made the long walk back to the mechanic...

To Marry or Not to Marry.....

Since childhood, I don't know due to what particular reason, I favoured bachelorhood over marriage. It may have been just a whimsical prejudice of my mind, but after I saw both my maternal uncle as well as my elder cousin opting for bachelorhood and deciding to remain single throughout their lives, this prejudice of mind became a concrete realization and belief. They were stern men and kept up their promises. I wanted to be one of them.

I however, after a lot of coaxing and begging by my parents, instigation by my friends and humiliating reprimands by uncles and aunties, agreed to do what I hadn't visualized myself doing: marry. I decided to tie the nuptial knot, thereby ending my highly cherished bachelorhood of 31 years.

Well how stupid I was to have changed my decision. it was as if I had slept at Goa and woken up at Pakistan. I was like a bird with clipped wings soon after marriage. Late night movies, bar outings, long biking trips with friends had suddenly become things of the past. Like with a slight turn of the kaleidoscope, the picture had changed completely. I had ceased to fit into the company of my old bachelor friends who had given me up as lost cause and now jeered at me behind my back.

The true picture, however emerged when my wife left to me visit her parents for a month. Keeping up with regular household chores like laundry, paying bills, buying groceries and supervising home maids was no joke. Meals had to be prepared or just skipped. The house wore an abandoned look all around.

The fragrances of her talcum and perfume were missing. And so were the feminine taunts and giggles. I longed for these moments and wandered from shop to shop in markets, searching for that matching set of bangles, which i would toy with while she snored softly lying with her hand across my chest.